spike (spikenheimer) wrote,

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The Mediocrity Messianic Complex

waking up feeling refreshed but knowing that you really didnt sleep enough seems to have become a new modus operandi for me. Which i am totally fine with on weekdays, but hey. weekends? they're mine. mine mine mine. i would rather be awake and alert as i go through my free time.

as is becoming more the norm i had a few derby related events this weekend. (i remember scoffing when Trixie Whipsum said "oh, when i finally accepted that my life had become derby it all became better." - now i know what she meant. and yet i still resist. Resistance is Futile. You shall be assimilated. echoes in my head...)
on friday we had a little get together for the girls who travelled to North Carolina and we watched some video footage. stuff we had dreaded seeing. you know the stuff... debauchery and delinquency... it was great fun, there was much laughter and yelling. can i just say that i really hate how i look / sound on video? yeah.
afterwards we took it to the bar and had the Wet Spot Connect 4 Invitational. Officiating and Scorekeeping was extremely informal, so i'm not sure we actually coronated a champion, but for sure there was a clear delineation of C4 experts.
saturday i took DeeDee Monic and her sister to the airport and then i found myself in a quandry thinking that i had to have something to do. i wisely shook myself out of that reverie with a "wtf?!?!? i spent nearly 2 years doing aboslutely NOTHING. i dont need to be doing something right now... sheesh!" (its always amusing when i give myself the smackdown.)
later on i was meeting up with Ajha to work on some Goth Prom promotional stuff, and to catch up. I headed out afterwards to some more derby related debauchery, and then bailed on that after a while when i didnt feel very social. Ended up over at a friends where we hung out and talked about nothing and everything. i was almost going to share some secrets but i got distracted. (that was the way of the conversation thread we were having)
but... what was important was that she knew how to sell me on a tattoo. actually on a lot of ink. heheheh. i mean, i had been thinking of one or two small ones before, and now i'm actually seriously considering a half sleeve.
i love how i have a few super close friends who mention something to me in passing, and i just hook into it and really gnaw it to death.
Of course now, i'm just trying to figure out what the *&!%$# i want done. she suggested tribal, but that seems so trite. i know i want something that means something to me. but thats a hard one. but i think i'm leaning towards something a bit more sci-fi than anything. although in truth, my first thought is that i really like the art she modified for her arm. i dunno. it always spoke to me in a sci-fi sort of context, where everyone else seems something western, while she sees something analogously feminine.
i'm still torn. i dont really know what i am. what i should mark myself with. on one level i am somewhat scared of the pain of the act, somewhat scared of the reaction it will emote from people. but in the end, i know i want it. and i get what i want.
so now i begin the long process of determining what i want to mark myself with.
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