spike (spikenheimer) wrote,

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finally friday!

work was actually not all that bad this week. in fact, it was really good and i felt much better about being here. even though i think i was in the office more than i wanted, it was good.

why? i got some things done, and i got officially pulled into a project in the role that they actually brought me in for. which is good. it makes me happy. even if its not the type of things a geek developer wants to claim (Look! i just developed a bunch of drawings in visio and a presentation in powerpoint!) its definately more where my mind has wired itself in the last decade.

outside the work realm, theres a lot of stories i have in my head that i could be writing up here. but theres a few things blocking me from writing them up:

  1. they're not my stories to tell. i mean, they are in the sense that i was party to the events that make up the story, but i was a supporting role. and more importantly...

  2. some stories are better left not in the public eye. especially stories that involve a particular sub section of society. `i hesitate to use the term sub-culture in this instance simply because i think it should be kept even closer than that generalized grouping. we're talking keeping it to a select few. and like those 'location jokes' these stories tellings might be lost on those who weren't there.

  3. i've started to ask myself why i write here. on one level i know i'm writing here to express myself - to get the words out of my head so they dont explode in there. but i also know that i crave that recognition and acceptance that your comments give me. as Moxie and i once discussed Comments = Love.

  4. these stories might really not be all that interesting. don't get me wrong, theres usually nothing stopping me from writin the most mindless drivel or telling the stupidest, longest, windingest, goingnowhereest stories. but i'm trying to be more selective about what i write.

so... i'll be content to write about why i'm not writing about what i've done lately. or i should say, not writingin depth about it. because at a certain level, i still really like going back in time and seeing what it was i did on a particular day.
and there's probably always going to be angst in my head. happiness for me does not seem to want to include the banishment of loneliness.
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