spike (spikenheimer) wrote,

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swimming with the fishes

i'm sitting here watching the dolphins wondering why i'm not sleeping, since i am waking up in 5.5 hours.
i have this feeling of doom. or not so much doom but a foreboding feeling. it feels like the renaissance is coming to an end. or at least my renaissance. i am not really sure. perhaps i'm not making sense.
there are things that i find i am hiding from people. close friends. why? i dont know. probably i fear their judgment of me. nothing serious. nothing i'm ashamed of. i just dont feel like sharing just yet i guess.

i'm starting to wonder if the new me is better or worse than the old me. i know i've gotten better in some regards, but in others i think i've become harder to deal with from an external perspective - some changes i've made have been for my own sake and i'm sure they appear to make me more selfish and i think its a protective measure.

damn. i guess i really shouldn't have drank that tea w/ the chinese food. bloody caffeine.
the dolphins will make me happy:

i sorta wish there were sound.
P.S. : thank you to whomever keeps giving me hugs.
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